33 Pissed

13th Dec 2020

This time of year, without Covid, there would be a lot of British teens and adults getting pissed. I’ve probably been spending too much time recently watching American car programmes. It’s taken its toll. Clare caught me referring to hoods, and fenders and trunks. Of course Pissed in America means Pissed Off in the UK. Subtle changes, completely different meaning. Bollocks is bad, but the dog’s bollocks is good. Shit is bad, shit hot is good. Bad is bad, except when bad means good. Perhaps the ultimate – “that shit is bad” – which means really good.

I’m pissed US style.

I was stable over the summer waiting for the PIPAC trial to re-open (closed due to Covid). At which point I turned my attention to the liver cancer. I suggested to my oncologist, that while the trial to deal with the peritoneal cancer was on hold, it was a good time to address the liver cancer. Especially I thought as the liver is the most likely source of spread to other parts of the body. I was referred to a specialist colleague of hers, with I noted, no mention of liver in his main bio. His conclusion was “I could operate, but with disease elsewhere there is no point”. A conclusion which doesn’t make entire sense to me. It’s like saying we could fix your broken leg, but your arm is broken too, so there’s no point. Or we could treat you for Covid, but you have an underlying health problem, so there’s no point.

Then there’s the Immunotherapy trial. I contacted the PA for the trial lead in January to be told there is no such trial, or if there was it never got funded. My oncologist then wrote in March to be told it was now closed due to Covid. However, in November I heard from a Facebook cancer group that someone had been admitted to the trial. I contacted the administration email address to be told we’ve been open the whole time, we never closed down.

Then December comes and scan results are in. The disease has become resistant to current chemo and is growing – the liver cancer has grown 50% in 3 months. It has also now spread to the spleen – most probably from the liver. Perhaps if I had liver surgery in the summer it wouldn’t have happened? The spread will also make me ineligible for the PIPAC trial. I’ve asked again about the immunotherapy trial, but it is a long shot, as only 10% of patients have the right biochemistry.

Time again to find the specialists, or maybe just get pissed, British style.