22nd October 2019 – Tuesday
“If you ever wondered how; you get triangles from a cow; you need butter, milk and cheese; And an equilateral chainsaw.” Lyrics I know at least 3 will recognise from the acclaimed (by a few) band Half Man Half Biscuit. In fact that was the first lyric I ever heard from them as the band was discussed by fellow school bus pupils.
The DHSS was of course the Department for Health and Social Security which ran from 1968 until 1988. As I wrote in my previous post I was back in the Department of Health’s Accident and Emergency in September with suspected DVT and it reminded me then of the first album “Back in the DHSS” – 1985.
“I get high when I’m the pilot of a plane; Touching down at Camberwick I’m stoned out of my brain.” A few weeks after that things started to get better. I was going to write a blog post about clouds clearing, as my cold was less bad, my nose had stopped bleeding and I managed over a week of daily exercise bike and some free weights. I’ve changed brake calipers on the car, and made a shabby chic outdoor table from an old pallet and leftover bathroom tiles.
“Well today I knocked upon their door and said that I was passing; And Charlie launched a scathing attack; When I asked him what I’d done, he said; “You stupid bastard, we live in a cul-de-sac.”” I also saw the specialist for the next phase and discussed the scans. It seems the liver spread has been affected by the chemo and shrunk it. While that might seem good news, it isn’t. It needs to regrow to be visible for the surgeon to cut out the bad. So I need to wait for that. However the peritoneal spread is possibly “a bit more” than previously thought, but not enough to worry the surgeon. To get a better view we agreed the idea would be to send a team in with flashlights and cameras – laparoscopy. If a clear enough picture is provided then a better decision can be made whether to proceed soon with the peritoneal surgery and HIPEC wash, or what and combine it with the liver surgery. Given that he put the surgery risks alone at 8% it seems better to try to have one set, rather than 2.
“I did the Shake’n’Vac and broke my fucking back.” Exercise ended when I felt too breathless to even manage 10 minutes. That was followed by waking up on Monday morning with a pretty bad constant pain in the chest, accompanied by breathlessness caused by even rolling on my back.
“Mary had a little lamb; The doctors were astounded; Everywhere she went; Gynaecologists surrounded.” Off to the doctors at 0910, then I found myself “Back Again in the DHSS” (title of the 1987 follow up) Accident and Emergency at 1000.
“I was just sitting there eating a salmonella sandwich”. Later (1600) after 3 blood tests. 1 CT scan, 1 XRay, 3 cups of tea, 2 packs of biscuits (not Half Man); and a cheese sandwich (without chainsaw) I was diagnosed with Bilateral Pulmonary Embolism. It would seem my DVT blood clot (that was allegedly not a DVT blood clot) had broken and has got lodged in both lungs.
“God gave us life; So that we could take sweets; Off strange men in big cars; And get driven to the woods; To stroke non-existent puppies.” Subsequent research on the subject suggests a little larger and God would have pulled the plug. However, they’ve given me injections of thinners to take, twice a day for the next 6 months and then re-assess. I thought it would be 1-2 weeks dissolve the clot and back to normal. Only now do I know that a) long term damage can be caused as parts of the lung might have died while without blood supply, b) I’m still high risk for the next week or so, as other clots may break loose.
The good news is a) I’m not dead. b) the chest pain and breathlessness is much improved today, and of course…..
……”There is nothing better in life; Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro; On a Saturday night instead of going to the pub.”
Up the Back Passage 